As you know I arrived back in Spain a few days ago. I am proud of myself to have overcome my fear of driving. I drove the last 1500 km with “bad” breaks and learned to drive pro-active instead of reactive which turns out to be a good skill 😉 With me I brought a suitcase that I had stored a long time ago in Switzerland. Not knowing what was all in there anymore, I opened it up already back in Switzerland. A big emotional wave hit me and I started crying. The suitcase is filled with video tapes from my dance performances – from rock’n’roll dancing over stage performances to my collaborations with artists. There are lots of photos and news paper articles covering my whole life of passion for movement that continued to be my life thread till now.
It took me a while to figure out what is so overwhelming and is touching so deeply. Partly it is the pain I feel knowing that I haven’t given myself enough credit for all that I have done in my life and accomplish on my own. And the other part is looking at photos of myself when I was young and seeing the passion that radiates out of me beyond my eyes. Feeling that unwavering determination and intuition I had about what I needed to do and the deep trust in life even if I didn’t know what would be there for me next.
The reason why I am sharing with you my inner most self is that I want to inspire you to do the same. Have a look at your past and see how far you have come and maybe what you have “lost” on the way. To encourage you to tap back into it. It is never too late to live your passion or/and fulfill your life purpose.
My safe place was always when I was moving my body. Then intuition hits and I feel safe in and with the unknown. Encountering my past this way, encourages me to love myself more, find more self-worth and tap back into my intuition in all other areas of my life. Leading me away from fear to freedom and trust in my future.
Today is my birthday. I was never big on celebrating it, but for the first time I can feel deep gratitude for what was, what is and what will be. I will sit down in front of my past stored in suitcase and cherish myself and my life.
I felt the urge to change the way I address my blog 🙂 You are not random yogis and yoginis that do online yoga together. You are Yoga! You made it happen that we can feel, care for and support each other despite the hurdle of being online. Starting out not knowing each other you all opened your heart to each other and anyone joining this community after.
This community provides a sense of belonging, understanding, and connection that is hard to find in our fast-paced and often disconnected society.
The digital age has brought about many conveniences and for us it bridged the gap of isolation and offers a sense of connection even if we are geographically distant. Emotional support, positive Energy and gratefulness helped us through a time of social isolation and continues to be some of the core values of this community.
Being part of this global yoga community where I can share my passion, support others, and receive support has lead me to a sense of fulfillment and purpose in my life.
In a world where divisions and polarizations often dominate, it is heartwarming to be with people that focus on commonalities and understanding which promote unity and empathy. We created a space where everybody can be their authentic self, find encouragement, and contribute positively to each other’s lives.
Last but not least, your openness to new experiences and approaches was a safe ground for me to evolve and explore my teaching and to grow as a teacher.
Monday 14.08. Meditative Repetition Flow
Wednesday 16.08. Three Breaths Flow
Friday 18.08. Heart – Lung – Dance Organ Flow
Monday 21.08. Going with the flow Flow
Wednesday 23.08. Grounding Slow Flow
Thursday 24.08. Open Theme Yogis Choice
Friday 25.08. Going with the flow Flow
I am grateful beyond words for this beautiful community! 🙂
This is probably the most personal blog I have written so far. A friend of mine, I visited near Hamburg said that I am on my own created “Way of St. James”. Obviously I was not walking from Spain all the way to Denmark and back, but maybe being by yourself driving that distance and visiting the past can have a similar result. I have been doing my FM’s (Fascial Maneuvers from the Human Garage) during my travel and did some live teaching on the way in Denmark, Switzerland and Germany which was a great experience.
The whole last week I have been reflecting on all the people I re-met on my trip and how even the perception people had of me changed this time. I also got a stronger sense of who still belongs in my life and knowing where I don’t belong. So all sorts of shifts happening while being loyal to my process and FM’s 😉
Today I took all my courage to ask questions in the Lifestyle Artist meeting we had. Even though I can perform/dance on stage and teach with confidence classes when it comes to speaking up in meeting I get super nervous. I went for a walk with my dog after the meeting and thinking about what Garry (Founder HG) said about the need for my to open up my heart and allow myself to receive.
Thinking about it made me realize that my heart has always been wide open to “god and the world” so stay. Yes, I had my share of being deeply hurt, so that a friend of mine even said “your heart is way to open, I want to close it a bit up for you”. I never did, but I did fail to open it up to myself. The self-judgment, feeling of never being good enough, shame, guilt, negative self-talk that were repeated habits/patterns taught in childhood by my family. All of this prevented me from loving myself. I never saw it as clear as now. I guess I haven’t even been able to allow myself to receive love fully or believe that someone could love all of me. The feeling of unworthiness I was able to cover up nicely my whole life by loving others even more. Being taught putting yourself first is selfish wasn’t helpful in the whole process either. So I guess learning to love myself is on the top of my list now 🙂
Monday 07.08. Pelvis Awareness Slow Flow
Wednesday 09.08. What do you need to learn Flow
Thursday 10.08. Open Theme Yogis Choice
Friday 11.08. What do you need to learn Flow
I am grateful that I can always share my authentic self with you!
2021 copyright nicoleohme
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